South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he fucked my hip out of place.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
