I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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