We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
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I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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