yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
