you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
