then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize