i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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