yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
