WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's shark week go big or go home
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize