These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
