I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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