how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize