Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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