Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
