So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
