i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
