He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
