I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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