I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So here I am, sexting at work.
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