haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
