Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize