I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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