if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am available for nakedness
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
