I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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