Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
