one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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