So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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