i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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