I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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