Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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