the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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