You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize