just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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