Buhtt sex?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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