The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
