another moral hangover. fuck.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
