AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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