the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
