He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
