We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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