I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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