My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
