I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
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"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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