After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
