pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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