A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
