Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
