i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
