smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
