I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
