Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
