just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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