Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
