we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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