Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
