she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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