Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is Oprah even human
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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