fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
