i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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