woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
