Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
